A Reflection
Article

A Reflection
Article

A Reflection
Article

A Reflection
Article

A Reflection
Article

This post-grad journal-esque article has been a work in progress for over a year. I actually started writing this in November 2019, and since then so much has changed, causing me to constantly revisit it, make edits, rewrite entire sections, and never be fully satisfied with it (a feeling I’m very very familiar with lol). However, I think the main reason why it took me so long to launch this was because I’m not confident in my writing abilities. I struggled a lot with writing it in a way that felt authentic to my personality, as well as constantly trying to condense it to hold people’s interest. But more importantly, I held off on publishing it because I genuinely thought that no one would be interested in my experience and what I have to say. Even though this was a challenge to write and collect all of my thoughts, it was something that I was always excited to work on every time I sat down to write. It’s a project that made me happy and was therapeutic in a sense. Throughout this past year, I’ve been trying to be more intentional with regards to my actions, feelings, emotions, and what I put out into the world. I have been working to step out of my comfort zone while also staying true to myself and putting things out into the universe with which I’m truly passionate and happy about. Not everyone who reads this article will be able to relate, and I’m okay with that, but I hope that at least someone will resonate with it.

I know times are very strange at the moment, and I debated for a while whether it was an appropriate time to post this article. Numerous things that used to be constants in my life that are not anymore, causing me to feel uncertain, lost, anxious, and confused as to how to adapt, which I’m sure is a very familiar feeling for many right now. I’ve learned so much about myself, the graphic design industry, and life in general in the past two and a half years. I’m hoping that this can not only serve as a comforting read and a resource for others, but also a means for me to document my own personal growth and reflection. 

For those who know me, I’m very much a creature of habit, gravitating towards structure and consistency. I struggle to accept change and spontaneity when it comes my way and overthink in mostly all aspects of my life. I find joy in planning ahead, seeking comfort in the known, being in control, and bracing for the worst possible scenario. I feel like I’ve been like this since I was young, but I’m realizing now that these aspects are having a more limiting impact on me as an adult. Being a student was a large part of my identity, and now that I haven't been one for a while, I've been struggling to find a sense of structure and identity elsewhere which has had a great impact on my mental health — more than I thought it could.

2019 started off a bit rough, as I was trying to heal from my breakup with someone I was with for almost two years. It was an emotional time, and as a way to cope, I internalized a lot of my emotions and feelings, but they eventually began to manifest themselves in negative ways throughout my daily life. At the time, I might not have seen the correlation between my mental health and the breakup, but in retrospect, the correlation was very big. I’m shocked that it had such a profound impact on me in all ways—physically, mentally, and emotionally. The breakup, combined with the immense feelings of unhappiness at my job at the time, made me a bundle of anxiety. I felt more lethargic and less inclined to do things I once enjoyed—such as exercising and going out with friends—but I just brushed all of that off at the time. I started to feel less like myself, as the anxiety progressed, and felt as if it was starting to control my life. I felt scared whenever I had to leave my house. I had panic attacks on public transit, in busy places, and in public. I cried at work. I was just generally more overwhelmed, moody, emotional, unhappy, and unmotivated. I didn’t fully understand what was happening to me. I felt defeated because I didn’t feel like myself and just wanted to feel “normal” again, whatever normal is supposed to feel like nowadays. I repressed a lot of my feelings, tried to push them away, and convinced myself that I could work through them on my own. To a certain extent, I did, but also recognized that I needed some sort of unbiased and external help. Near the end of that year, I decided to start online therapy as a means to help cope with these newfound feelings, emotions, and thought patterns. Although I struggle to open up and be vulnerable, it’s really helped me understand myself better, my thought patterns, where my thoughts stem from, and how to slowly change them. My therapist keeps me hopeful. He reminds me that I’m capable of any change I want and that I’m deserving of good in life, and helps me to shift my mindset to work with my anxiety instead of against it.

My college experience was beyond enjoyable. I made life-long friends, learned more about myself, and felt like I was growing into myself . I immersed myself in my projects, learned about my capabilities, and saw myself grow as both a human and a designer. The sharing of knowledge and skills amongst my colleagues was the most valuable aspect of my college experience. We became so invested in each other's personal growth and careers, and truly wanted to see each other succeed just as much as we wanted to see ourselves succeed. We sorted out problems together, learned together, inspired each other, cheered each other on, and passed along internship and job opportunities to each other (and continue to do so). They’re some of the most passionate and amazing people I’ve ever met, and I’m so thankful to have them in my life. For my college credit, I was required to complete a three-week internship in order to graduate. I thought the internship was just going to be that: simply three weeks, over and done with. Looking back on it now, I realize the substantial impact my internship had not only on my career but also on myself. My internship allowed me to make connections in the industry, which taught me the importance of community and culture, and how surrounding yourself with creative and passionate people allows you to be your best self. It also taught me the importance of finding a place that makes you eager to learn and work, caring about the work you create, and doing projects that align with your own values. I’m thankful for the experience, as it has allowed me to establish non-negotiable and core values, and in turn, find job opportunities that reflect these values.

After working in the industry for almost two years now, I’m starting to find those individuals that I gravitate towards, connect with, and admire. While it’s exciting to enter the design industry as a fresh graduate, it’s even more intimidating to step foot into a workplace for the first time and try to create a space for yourself so that you can thrive. It can be discouraging when you don’t feel like a good fit somewhere or are not appreciated and valued. Most first jobs are like this, and it’s important to remember that your first job isn’t your forever job—although it can be difficult to realize this in the moment. Any experience, good or bad, is a learning experience that helps you grow. One thing I wish someone told me when I was starting in the industry is this: it may not happen at first, but you’ll eventually find people on the same wavelength as you, who make great collaborators, inspire you, want to help you be a better human, and have the same passion and drive to create the same kind of work that you do.

Despite feeling absolutely exhausted with the news and current events this year, my screen time has been absolutely horrendous. From doomscrolling to seeing people on Instagram pretending like the pandemic doesn't exist, it’s been exhausting to care and keep up with, yet I couldn’t distance myself from it all, especially during the early months. As the months passed, I’ve become better with regards to setting social media boundaries and rethinking its importance in my life. While social media has its advantages, especially for creatives like myself, it’s also been a constant contributor to my negative habits and emotions. I frequently do social media cleanses, which allow me to re-evaluate who I follow, to see if their content makes me feel happy and inspired, or just worse about myself. There is nothing wrong with unfollowing people who don’t bring you these things, even if they are people that you know in real life. Muting, blocking, or unfollowing people are things that should be done to better your own mental health, and I think establishing those boundaries are important for your own happiness. Curate your social media in a way that is conducive to you, your goals, and the life you want to live. 

Although I love seeing new work from people all over the world and getting involved in the graphic design community, it’s hard not to compare my creativity to others, especially this year. Shifting to working from home has definitely caused me to feel more uninspired, exhausted, and unmotivated. I have often felt frustrated, disappointed, and angry, and I have felt like I’m not doing enough, making enough, or simply not being a productive human. I have constantly seen people being creative and immersing themselves in their work, discovering new hobbies and interests, and improving their skills during the free time that was communally given to us, which has left me feeling less than, as I did not do the same. I’m not going to lie, thinking that I wasted a year not improving my career is a disappointing feeling. However, I used this year to focus on myself and my needs instead. I slept a lot, thoroughly immersed myself in all reality tv shows, read and exercised more, connected with those important to me and strengthened those relationships, connected with new people, and also reconnected with others that I haven’t spoken to in years. While I didn’t necessarily progress in my career, this year caused me to shift my perspective and reevaluate my priorities. I made lots of progress in my personal life by discovering things that calm me down and make me less anxious, and it made me realize that I was putting off a lot of things that truly made me happy when I was “busy” working and commuting. I really appreciated being able to slow down, reflect, and take this new perspective with me moving forward. I realized that everyone has been coping differently during this time, and whatever that looked like for you, it’s valid and okay.

A big thing I’ve been struggling with is the idea that my worth and identity as a human isn’t based on my productivity levels, how much I share my work on social media, or how many likes or followers I have. It’s okay to create things just for yourself—to just simply be happy and create what you want without the pressure of worrying if other people will like it. It’s okay to create when you feel ready, not when society dictates when you should. I’ve tried to be more intentional with the content that I have been posting on social media recently. I don’t want to just create things for the sake of people seeing and acknowledging it—that validation is temporary and can do more harm than good. I want to create with intention, to do things that make me happy, and then decide if I would like to put it into the universe for others to also appreciate. It’s hard to not associate your worth with your productivity levels, as normally there is a monetary value being placed on your creativity and ability to solve problems. I started to make my career my identity, similar to how I made being a student a large part of my life. Your purpose and worth are not things that can simply be measured by a title. Your titles are not all that you’re as a human—you’re so much more. I think it’s the most unhealthy thing that you can do because once you start to associate yourself entirely with something that can change in an instant by outside forces (ex. losing your job of a long time), you’re left feeling empty and lost.

When going into the office was an actual thing (throwback lol), it was easy to get lost in a mundane routine. Between commuting, having very busy days, juggling different projects at once with a ton of meetings, and feeling too tired to do anything else except go to bed, it was all so exhausting, but I’d do anything to experience that kind of exhaustion again. I’m not even kidding, I would give absolutely anything to be annoyed with my commute every day. When life was somewhat normal, I was trying to establish a healthy work-life balance. I started implementing some things to make my daily routine better, such as listening to podcasts, reading more, taking breaks and walks more often, stretching and moving my body more, and dedicating alone time for myself to unwind and recharge. I think now, more than ever, there needs to be some sort of balance in our daily routines since now our homes have become our place of sleep, play, and work. Mentally detaching yourself from work, even when you're physically not in the office, is so so difficult. I would recommend this TED Talk and reading this article by Frank Bach, to learn how you can be a more mindful designer and human.

A few of the lessons that I’ve learned during these past couple of years:

The importance of being a continuous learner.
Strive to constantly be a sponge and learn from all your experiences. Also, be kind and pass that knowledge onto others when given the opportunity to do so. It’s important to admit to yourself that you don't know everything in order to open yourself up to learning and growing. You’re not expected to know everything, so don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t know how to do something or if you don’t understand something. There are people who will always be willing to help you (friends, coworkers, teachers, mentors). Learn to not take criticism as a personal attack, but instead, view it as a learning opportunity and as a means to grow. I’ve learned that there is no one—not even the most well-known or famous designer that you admire—who would be uninterested or unwilling to help and teach you. You just need to be willing to open yourself up to receiving help. Remaining receptive to learning is the key to growing.

Be selective about where you want to work.
Most designers entering the industry are eager to jump at the first opportunity that comes their way, as a means to get their foot in the door. There is nothing wrong with being eager, but it’s important to do your due diligence and properly research companies, their values, and the people who work there. This will help you to be more informed, and it will cause you to apply to jobs at places that share your values and that you admire.

It’s important for your employer to care about you, your well-being, and personal growth.
Don’t just look at what skills and knowledge you can offer to a company when accepting a job, but also consider the ways in which they are able to improve your life and personal growth. This can be through mentorship, a budget for continuing learning courses, flexible hours, remote working options, or healthcare benefits. As a junior designer, I’ve experienced intimidation and discouragement from supervisors and managers based on my performance, character, and work. It’s important to be open-minded and receptive to feedback in order to recognize where growth and improvement are possible, but, on the flip side, it’s important to stand your ground and truly recognize when a work environment is just toxic. Actions always speak louder than words, and realizing when a company isn’t bettering your well-being anymore is a clear sign that it’s time to move on.

Don’t get caught up in all the glamour of trying to work at the big name companies.
It’s great to have aspirations and to one daydream of working for the prestigious design firms, but don’t obsess and make that your only end goal as a designer. There are so many small studios and companies who aren’t as well-known who are producing amazing work that could be a great fit for you. Do your research, know your options, and don’t limit yourself.

Portfolios are even more important after school ends.
Make the time to constantly improve your portfolio, especially when you have a job. When the time comes for you to move on, you won’t have to worry about scrambling to gather your portfolio together when an unexpected opportunity arises. Remember to only put in work that you’re most proud of and that reflects the kind of work that you want to do, and that quality is always better than quantity. Tobias van Schneider wrote a great article on the importance of keeping your portfolio constantly up-to-date, which encouraged me to work on my own. 

Everyone’s path is different.
Although it’s easier said than done, you should try not to judge your current state against someone else’s current or end states. It isn’t fair to you, and only provides you with discouragement. Remember to focus on your path and nurturing your craft, and know that things will always come in time. Show up, take risks, have passion, be driven, and be open to all opportunities that come your way in life.

Know your worth.
Don’t ever sell yourself short. Be sure to know what skills you’re able to offer to someone, and be confident in yourself and your work. There will be people who will try to take advantage of you in life, so it’s important to know what you’re looking for in terms of work and your work environment and choose what is best for you. I still struggle with my own confidence as a designer, but I think that I have become more confident with each opportunity that I have gotten. Remember to never compromise your values and self-worth. 

Be kind to yourself.
This one is very self-explanatory, but, in my opinion, is the most difficult one to implement. We give our friends and family so much forgiveness, love, and care, but fail to give that to ourselves because for some odd reason, we feel undeserving of it. It’s important to recognize that your feelings and emotions are valid and to truly sit with all of them, despite how uncomfortable they are. I often dismiss how I’m feeling because people have it worse, and yes, while that is true and will always be true, it’s important to not use that as a reason to minimize what you’re going through or feeling. Give yourself more credit for how far you’ve come, the progress you’ve made, and your small wins. It’s possible to celebrate little wins and be proud of yourself, while also recognizing all of the work and progress that you still need to make in life. 

As I’m becoming older, I’m realizing the importance that my attitude and outlook have on my quality of life. I’ve learned that I’m not always able to control things that happen, but I’m able to control how I respond to them. As someone who struggles to let go of control, it’s been difficult for me to accept this, as I have a habit of hyper-focusing on the what-ifs and all of the things that are not even close to being in my control. When things happen in our life, whether it be a positive or negative change or experience, a shift in perspective is required in order for us to fully appreciate it and move forward. Instead of wishing and yearning for the comfort of the past, I’m instead trying to use the past as learning experiences, in order to welcome change and growth into my present life.

Although I’m only 23, I go through times where I feel like I need to have my whole life figured out within the next two years. It’s this weird feeling, and I’m worried that I’m going to burn out, lose my competitive edge and my creativity, and my skills are just going to suddenly vanish from my body overnight. I still have so much to learn and achieve in my life which excites me, but also overwhelms me. It might sound stupid, but I fear that I’m not going to be able to accomplish all of my dreams in my lifetime. There are many things to look forward to, and so many things that I want to experience, which makes me feel very hopeful. I think the key is to define success on your own terms and to constantly explore what brings you true happiness in life.

If you made it this far, you truly deserve an award because this was a long read, but I’m truly thankful that you stuck around. Recently, I’ve been trying to take each day as it comes and start celebrating little wins, and I think you should as well.

Until next time,
Olivia

This post-grad journal-esque article has been a work in progress for over a year. I actually started writing this in November 2019, and since then so much has changed, causing me to constantly revisit it, make edits, rewrite entire sections, and never be fully satisfied with it (a feeling I’m very very familiar with lol). However, I think the main reason why it took me so long to launch this was because I’m not confident in my writing abilities. I struggled a lot with writing it in a way that felt authentic to my personality, as well as constantly trying to condense it to hold people’s interest. But more importantly, I held off on publishing it because I genuinely thought that no one would be interested in my experience and what I have to say. Even though this was a challenge to write and collect all of my thoughts, it was something that I was always excited to work on every time I sat down to write. It’s a project that made me happy and was therapeutic in a sense. Throughout this past year, I’ve been trying to be more intentional with regards to my actions, feelings, emotions, and what I put out into the world. I have been working to step out of my comfort zone while also staying true to myself and putting things out into the universe with which I’m truly passionate and happy about. Not everyone who reads this article will be able to relate, and I’m okay with that, but I hope that at least someone will resonate with it.

I know times are very strange at the moment, and I debated for a while whether it was an appropriate time to post this article. Numerous things that used to be constants in my life that are not anymore, causing me to feel uncertain, lost, anxious, and confused as to how to adapt, which I’m sure is a very familiar feeling for many right now. I’ve learned so much about myself, the graphic design industry, and life in general in the past two and a half years. I’m hoping that this can not only serve as a comforting read and a resource for others, but also a means for me to document my own personal growth and reflection. 

For those who know me, I’m very much a creature of habit, gravitating towards structure and consistency. I struggle to accept change and spontaneity when it comes my way and overthink in mostly all aspects of my life. I find joy in planning ahead, seeking comfort in the known, being in control, and bracing for the worst possible scenario. I feel like I’ve been like this since I was young, but I’m realizing now that these aspects are having a more limiting impact on me as an adult. Being a student was a large part of my identity, and now that I haven't been one for a while, I've been struggling to find a sense of structure and identity elsewhere which has had a great impact on my mental health — more than I thought it could.

2019 started off a bit rough, as I was trying to heal from my breakup with someone I was with for almost two years. It was an emotional time, and as a way to cope, I internalized a lot of my emotions and feelings, but they eventually began to manifest themselves in negative ways throughout my daily life. At the time, I might not have seen the correlation between my mental health and the breakup, but in retrospect, the correlation was very big. I’m shocked that it had such a profound impact on me in all ways—physically, mentally, and emotionally. The breakup, combined with the immense feelings of unhappiness at my job at the time, made me a bundle of anxiety. I felt more lethargic and less inclined to do things I once enjoyed—such as exercising and going out with friends—but I just brushed all of that off at the time. I started to feel less like myself, as the anxiety progressed, and felt as if it was starting to control my life. I felt scared whenever I had to leave my house. I had panic attacks on public transit, in busy places, and in public. I cried at work. I was just generally more overwhelmed, moody, emotional, unhappy, and unmotivated. I didn’t fully understand what was happening to me. I felt defeated because I didn’t feel like myself and just wanted to feel “normal” again, whatever normal is supposed to feel like nowadays. I repressed a lot of my feelings, tried to push them away, and convinced myself that I could work through them on my own. To a certain extent, I did, but also recognized that I needed some sort of unbiased and external help. Near the end of that year, I decided to start online therapy as a means to help cope with these newfound feelings, emotions, and thought patterns. Although I struggle to open up and be vulnerable, it’s really helped me understand myself better, my thought patterns, where my thoughts stem from, and how to slowly change them. My therapist keeps me hopeful. He reminds me that I’m capable of any change I want and that I’m deserving of good in life, and helps me to shift my mindset to work with my anxiety instead of against it.

My college experience was beyond enjoyable. I made life-long friends, learned more about myself, and felt like I was growing into myself . I immersed myself in my projects, learned about my capabilities, and saw myself grow as both a human and a designer. The sharing of knowledge and skills amongst my colleagues was the most valuable aspect of my college experience. We became so invested in each other's personal growth and careers, and truly wanted to see each other succeed just as much as we wanted to see ourselves succeed. We sorted out problems together, learned together, inspired each other, cheered each other on, and passed along internship and job opportunities to each other (and continue to do so). They’re some of the most passionate and amazing people I’ve ever met, and I’m so thankful to have them in my life. For my college credit, I was required to complete a three-week internship in order to graduate. I thought the internship was just going to be that: simply three weeks, over and done with. Looking back on it now, I realize the substantial impact my internship had not only on my career but also on myself. My internship allowed me to make connections in the industry, which taught me the importance of community and culture, and how surrounding yourself with creative and passionate people allows you to be your best self. It also taught me the importance of finding a place that makes you eager to learn and work, caring about the work you create, and doing projects that align with your own values. I’m thankful for the experience, as it has allowed me to establish non-negotiable and core values, and in turn, find job opportunities that reflect these values.

After working in the industry for almost two years now, I’m starting to find those individuals that I gravitate towards, connect with, and admire. While it’s exciting to enter the design industry as a fresh graduate, it’s even more intimidating to step foot into a workplace for the first time and try to create a space for yourself so that you can thrive. It can be discouraging when you don’t feel like a good fit somewhere or are not appreciated and valued. Most first jobs are like this, and it’s important to remember that your first job isn’t your forever job—although it can be difficult to realize this in the moment. Any experience, good or bad, is a learning experience that helps you grow. One thing I wish someone told me when I was starting in the industry is this: it may not happen at first, but you’ll eventually find people on the same wavelength as you, who make great collaborators, inspire you, want to help you be a better human, and have the same passion and drive to create the same kind of work that you do.

Despite feeling absolutely exhausted with the news and current events this year, my screen time has been absolutely horrendous. From doomscrolling to seeing people on Instagram pretending like the pandemic doesn't exist, it’s been exhausting to care and keep up with, yet I couldn’t distance myself from it all, especially during the early months. As the months passed, I’ve become better with regards to setting social media boundaries and rethinking its importance in my life. While social media has its advantages, especially for creatives like myself, it’s also been a constant contributor to my negative habits and emotions. I frequently do social media cleanses, which allow me to re-evaluate who I follow, to see if their content makes me feel happy and inspired, or just worse about myself. There is nothing wrong with unfollowing people who don’t bring you these things, even if they are people that you know in real life. Muting, blocking, or unfollowing people are things that should be done to better your own mental health, and I think establishing those boundaries are important for your own happiness. Curate your social media in a way that is conducive to you, your goals, and the life you want to live. 

Although I love seeing new work from people all over the world and getting involved in the graphic design community, it’s hard not to compare my creativity to others, especially this year. Shifting to working from home has definitely caused me to feel more uninspired, exhausted, and unmotivated. I have often felt frustrated, disappointed, and angry, and I have felt like I’m not doing enough, making enough, or simply not being a productive human. I have constantly seen people being creative and immersing themselves in their work, discovering new hobbies and interests, and improving their skills during the free time that was communally given to us, which has left me feeling less than, as I did not do the same. I’m not going to lie, thinking that I wasted a year not improving my career is a disappointing feeling. However, I used this year to focus on myself and my needs instead. I slept a lot, thoroughly immersed myself in all reality tv shows, read and exercised more, connected with those important to me and strengthened those relationships, connected with new people, and also reconnected with others that I haven’t spoken to in years. While I didn’t necessarily progress in my career, this year caused me to shift my perspective and reevaluate my priorities. I made lots of progress in my personal life by discovering things that calm me down and make me less anxious, and it made me realize that I was putting off a lot of things that truly made me happy when I was “busy” working and commuting. I really appreciated being able to slow down, reflect, and take this new perspective with me moving forward. I realized that everyone has been coping differently during this time, and whatever that looked like for you, it’s valid and okay.

A big thing I’ve been struggling with is the idea that my worth and identity as a human isn’t based on my productivity levels, how much I share my work on social media, or how many likes or followers I have. It’s okay to create things just for yourself—to just simply be happy and create what you want without the pressure of worrying if other people will like it. It’s okay to create when you feel ready, not when society dictates when you should. I’ve tried to be more intentional with the content that I have been posting on social media recently. I don’t want to just create things for the sake of people seeing and acknowledging it—that validation is temporary and can do more harm than good. I want to create with intention, to do things that make me happy, and then decide if I would like to put it into the universe for others to also appreciate. It’s hard to not associate your worth with your productivity levels, as normally there is a monetary value being placed on your creativity and ability to solve problems. I started to make my career my identity, similar to how I made being a student a large part of my life. Your purpose and worth are not things that can simply be measured by a title. Your titles are not all that you’re as a human—you’re so much more. I think it’s the most unhealthy thing that you can do because once you start to associate yourself entirely with something that can change in an instant by outside forces (ex. losing your job of a long time), you’re left feeling empty and lost.

When going into the office was an actual thing (throwback lol), it was easy to get lost in a mundane routine. Between commuting, having very busy days, juggling different projects at once with a ton of meetings, and feeling too tired to do anything else except go to bed, it was all so exhausting, but I’d do anything to experience that kind of exhaustion again. I’m not even kidding, I would give absolutely anything to be annoyed with my commute every day. When life was somewhat normal, I was trying to establish a healthy work-life balance. I started implementing some things to make my daily routine better, such as listening to podcasts, reading more, taking breaks and walks more often, stretching and moving my body more, and dedicating alone time for myself to unwind and recharge. I think now, more than ever, there needs to be some sort of balance in our daily routines since now our homes have become our place of sleep, play, and work. Mentally detaching yourself from work, even when you're physically not in the office, is so so difficult. I would recommend this TED Talk and reading this article by Frank Bach, to learn how you can be a more mindful designer and human.

A few of the lessons that I’ve learned during these past couple of years:

The importance of being a continuous learner.
Strive to constantly be a sponge and learn from all your experiences. Also, be kind and pass that knowledge onto others when given the opportunity to do so. It’s important to admit to yourself that you don't know everything in order to open yourself up to learning and growing. You’re not expected to know everything, so don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t know how to do something or if you don’t understand something. There are people who will always be willing to help you (friends, coworkers, teachers, mentors). Learn to not take criticism as a personal attack, but instead, view it as a learning opportunity and as a means to grow. I’ve learned that there is no one—not even the most well-known or famous designer that you admire—who would be uninterested or unwilling to help and teach you. You just need to be willing to open yourself up to receiving help. Remaining receptive to learning is the key to growing.

Be selective about where you want to work.
Most designers entering the industry are eager to jump at the first opportunity that comes their way, as a means to get their foot in the door. There is nothing wrong with being eager, but it’s important to do your due diligence and properly research companies, their values, and the people who work there. This will help you to be more informed, and it will cause you to apply to jobs at places that share your values and that you admire.

It’s important for your employer to care about you, your well-being, and personal growth.
Don’t just look at what skills and knowledge you can offer to a company when accepting a job, but also consider the ways in which they are able to improve your life and personal growth. This can be through mentorship, a budget for continuing learning courses, flexible hours, remote working options, or healthcare benefits. As a junior designer, I’ve experienced intimidation and discouragement from supervisors and managers based on my performance, character, and work. It’s important to be open-minded and receptive to feedback in order to recognize where growth and improvement are possible, but, on the flip side, it’s important to stand your ground and truly recognize when a work environment is just toxic. Actions always speak louder than words, and realizing when a company isn’t bettering your well-being anymore is a clear sign that it’s time to move on.

Don’t get caught up in all the glamour of trying to work at the big name companies.
It’s great to have aspirations and to one daydream of working for the prestigious design firms, but don’t obsess and make that your only end goal as a designer. There are so many small studios and companies who aren’t as well-known who are producing amazing work that could be a great fit for you. Do your research, know your options, and don’t limit yourself.

Portfolios are even more important after school ends.
Make the time to constantly improve your portfolio, especially when you have a job. When the time comes for you to move on, you won’t have to worry about scrambling to gather your portfolio together when an unexpected opportunity arises. Remember to only put in work that you’re most proud of and that reflects the kind of work that you want to do, and that quality is always better than quantity. Tobias van Schneider wrote a great article on the importance of keeping your portfolio constantly up-to-date, which encouraged me to work on my own. 

Everyone’s path is different.
Although it’s easier said than done, you should try not to judge your current state against someone else’s current or end states. It isn’t fair to you, and only provides you with discouragement. Remember to focus on your path and nurturing your craft, and know that things will always come in time. Show up, take risks, have passion, be driven, and be open to all opportunities that come your way in life.

Know your worth.
Don’t ever sell yourself short. Be sure to know what skills you’re able to offer to someone, and be confident in yourself and your work. There will be people who will try to take advantage of you in life, so it’s important to know what you’re looking for in terms of work and your work environment and choose what is best for you. I still struggle with my own confidence as a designer, but I think that I have become more confident with each opportunity that I have gotten. Remember to never compromise your values and self-worth. 

Be kind to yourself.
This one is very self-explanatory, but, in my opinion, is the most difficult one to implement. We give our friends and family so much forgiveness, love, and care, but fail to give that to ourselves because for some odd reason, we feel undeserving of it. It’s important to recognize that your feelings and emotions are valid and to truly sit with all of them, despite how uncomfortable they are. I often dismiss how I’m feeling because people have it worse, and yes, while that is true and will always be true, it’s important to not use that as a reason to minimize what you’re going through or feeling. Give yourself more credit for how far you’ve come, the progress you’ve made, and your small wins. It’s possible to celebrate little wins and be proud of yourself, while also recognizing all of the work and progress that you still need to make in life. 

As I’m becoming older, I’m realizing the importance that my attitude and outlook have on my quality of life. I’ve learned that I’m not always able to control things that happen, but I’m able to control how I respond to them. As someone who struggles to let go of control, it’s been difficult for me to accept this, as I have a habit of hyperfocusing on the what-ifs and all of the things that are not even close to being in my control. When things happen in our life, whether it be a positive or negative change or experience, a shift in perspective is required in order for us to fully appreciate it and move forward. Instead of wishing and yearning for the comfort of the past, I’m instead trying to use the past as learning experiences, in order to welcome change and growth into my present life.

Although I’m only 23, I go through times where I feel like I need to have my whole life figured out within the next two years. It’s this weird feeling, and I’m worried that I’m going to burn out, lose my competitive edge and my creativity, and my skills are just going to suddenly vanish from my body overnight. I still have so much to learn and achieve in my life which excites me, but also overwhelms me. It might sound stupid, but I fear that I’m not going to be able to accomplish all of my dreams in my lifetime. There are many things to look forward to, and so many things that I want to experience, which makes me feel very hopeful. I think the key is to define success on your own terms and to constantly explore what brings you true happiness in life.

If you made it this far, you truly deserve an award because this was a long read, but I’m truly thankful that you stuck around. Recently, I’ve been trying to take each day as it comes and start celebrating little wins, and I think you should as well.

Until next time,
Olivia

This post-grad journal-esque article has been a work in progress for over a year. I actually started writing this in November 2019, and since then so much has changed, causing me to constantly revisit it, make edits, rewrite entire sections, and never be fully satisfied with it (a feeling I’m very very familiar with lol). However, I think the main reason why it took me so long to launch this was because I’m not confident in my writing abilities. I struggled a lot with writing it in a way that felt authentic to my personality, as well as constantly trying to condense it to hold people’s interest. But more importantly, I held off on publishing it because I genuinely thought that no one would be interested in my experience and what I have to say. Even though this was a challenge to write and collect all of my thoughts, it was something that I was always excited to work on every time I sat down to write. It’s a project that made me happy and was therapeutic in a sense. Throughout this past year, I’ve been trying to be more intentional with regards to my actions, feelings, emotions, and what I put out into the world. I have been working to step out of my comfort zone while also staying true to myself and putting things out into the universe with which I’m truly passionate and happy about. Not everyone who reads this article will be able to relate, and I’m okay with that, but I hope that at least someone will resonate with it.

I know times are very strange at the moment, and I debated for a while whether it was an appropriate time to post this article. Numerous things that used to be constants in my life that are not anymore, causing me to feel uncertain, lost, anxious, and confused as to how to adapt, which I’m sure is a very familiar feeling for many right now. I’ve learned so much about myself, the graphic design industry, and life in general in the past two and a half years. I’m hoping that this can not only serve as a comforting read and a resource for others, but also a means for me to document my own personal growth and reflection. 

For those who know me, I’m very much a creature of habit, gravitating towards structure and consistency. I struggle to accept change and spontaneity when it comes my way and overthink in mostly all aspects of my life. I find joy in planning ahead, seeking comfort in the known, being in control, and bracing for the worst possible scenario. I feel like I’ve been like this since I was young, but I’m realizing now that these aspects are having a more limiting impact on me as an adult. Being a student was a large part of my identity, and now that I haven't been one for a while, I've been struggling to find a sense of structure and identity elsewhere which has had a great impact on my mental health — more than I thought it could.

2019 started off a bit rough, as I was trying to heal from my breakup with someone I was with for almost two years. It was an emotional time, and as a way to cope, I internalized a lot of my emotions and feelings, but they eventually began to manifest themselves in negative ways throughout my daily life. At the time, I might not have seen the correlation between my mental health and the breakup, but in retrospect, the correlation was very big. I’m shocked that it had such a profound impact on me in all ways—physically, mentally, and emotionally. The breakup, combined with the immense feelings of unhappiness at my job at the time, made me a bundle of anxiety. I felt more lethargic and less inclined to do things I once enjoyed—such as exercising and going out with friends—but I just brushed all of that off at the time. I started to feel less like myself, as the anxiety progressed, and felt as if it was starting to control my life. I felt scared whenever I had to leave my house. I had panic attacks on public transit, in busy places, and in public. I cried at work. I was just generally more overwhelmed, moody, emotional, unhappy, and unmotivated. I didn’t fully understand what was happening to me. I felt defeated because I didn’t feel like myself and just wanted to feel “normal” again, whatever normal is supposed to feel like nowadays. I repressed a lot of my feelings, tried to push them away, and convinced myself that I could work through them on my own. To a certain extent, I did, but also recognized that I needed some sort of unbiased and external help. Near the end of that year, I decided to start online therapy as a means to help cope with these newfound feelings, emotions, and thought patterns. Although I struggle to open up and be vulnerable, it’s really helped me understand myself better, my thought patterns, where my thoughts stem from, and how to slowly change them. My therapist keeps me hopeful. He reminds me that I’m capable of any change I want and that I’m deserving of good in life, and helps me to shift my mindset to work with my anxiety instead of against it.

My college experience was beyond enjoyable. I made life-long friends, learned more about myself, and felt like I was growing into myself . I immersed myself in my projects, learned about my capabilities, and saw myself grow as both a human and a designer. The sharing of knowledge and skills amongst my colleagues was the most valuable aspect of my college experience. We became so invested in each other's personal growth and careers, and truly wanted to see each other succeed just as much as we wanted to see ourselves succeed. We sorted out problems together, learned together, inspired each other, cheered each other on, and passed along internship and job opportunities to each other (and continue to do so). They’re some of the most passionate and amazing people I’ve ever met, and I’m so thankful to have them in my life. For my college credit, I was required to complete a three-week internship in order to graduate. I thought the internship was just going to be that: simply three weeks, over and done with. Looking back on it now, I realize the substantial impact my internship had not only on my career but also on myself. My internship allowed me to make connections in the industry, which taught me the importance of community and culture, and how surrounding yourself with creative and passionate people allows you to be your best self. It also taught me the importance of finding a place that makes you eager to learn and work, caring about the work you create, and doing projects that align with your own values. I’m thankful for the experience, as it has allowed me to establish non-negotiable and core values, and in turn, find job opportunities that reflect these values.

After working in the industry for almost two years now, I’m starting to find those individuals that I gravitate towards, connect with, and admire. While it’s exciting to enter the design industry as a fresh graduate, it’s even more intimidating to step foot into a workplace for the first time and try to create a space for yourself so that you can thrive. It can be discouraging when you don’t feel like a good fit somewhere or are not appreciated and valued. Most first jobs are like this, and it’s important to remember that your first job isn’t your forever job—although it can be difficult to realize this in the moment. Any experience, good or bad, is a learning experience that helps you grow. One thing I wish someone told me when I was starting in the industry is this: it may not happen at first, but you’ll eventually find people on the same wavelength as you, who make great collaborators, inspire you, want to help you be a better human, and have the same passion and drive to create the same kind of work that you do.

Despite feeling absolutely exhausted with the news and current events this year, my screen time has been absolutely horrendous. From doomscrolling to seeing people on Instagram pretending like the pandemic doesn't exist, it’s been exhausting to care and keep up with, yet I couldn’t distance myself from it all, especially during the early months. As the months passed, I’ve become better with regards to setting social media boundaries and rethinking its importance in my life. While social media has its advantages, especially for creatives like myself, it’s also been a constant contributor to my negative habits and emotions. I frequently do social media cleanses, which allow me to re-evaluate who I follow, to see if their content makes me feel happy and inspired, or just worse about myself. There is nothing wrong with unfollowing people who don’t bring you these things, even if they are people that you know in real life. Muting, blocking, or unfollowing people are things that should be done to better your own mental health, and I think establishing those boundaries are important for your own happiness. Curate your social media in a way that is conducive to you, your goals, and the life you want to live. 

Although I love seeing new work from people all over the world and getting involved in the graphic design community, it’s hard not to compare my creativity to others, especially this year. Shifting to working from home has definitely caused me to feel more uninspired, exhausted, and unmotivated. I have often felt frustrated, disappointed, and angry, and I have felt like I’m not doing enough, making enough, or simply not being a productive human. I have constantly seen people being creative and immersing themselves in their work, discovering new hobbies and interests, and improving their skills during the free time that was communally given to us, which has left me feeling less than, as I did not do the same. I’m not going to lie, thinking that I wasted a year not improving my career is a disappointing feeling. However, I used this year to focus on myself and my needs instead. I slept a lot, thoroughly immersed myself in all reality tv shows, read and exercised more, connected with those important to me and strengthened those relationships, connected with new people, and also reconnected with others that I haven’t spoken to in years. While I didn’t necessarily progress in my career, this year caused me to shift my perspective and reevaluate my priorities. I made lots of progress in my personal life by discovering things that calm me down and make me less anxious, and it made me realize that I was putting off a lot of things that truly made me happy when I was “busy” working and commuting. I really appreciated being able to slow down, reflect, and take this new perspective with me moving forward. I realized that everyone has been coping differently during this time, and whatever that looked like for you, it’s valid and okay.

A big thing I’ve been struggling with is the idea that my worth and identity as a human isn’t based on my productivity levels, how much I share my work on social media, or how many likes or followers I have. It’s okay to create things just for yourself—to just simply be happy and create what you want without the pressure of worrying if other people will like it. It’s okay to create when you feel ready, not when society dictates when you should. I’ve tried to be more intentional with the content that I have been posting on social media recently. I don’t want to just create things for the sake of people seeing and acknowledging it—that validation is temporary and can do more harm than good. I want to create with intention, to do things that make me happy, and then decide if I would like to put it into the universe for others to also appreciate. It’s hard to not associate your worth with your productivity levels, as normally there is a monetary value being placed on your creativity and ability to solve problems. I started to make my career my identity, similar to how I made being a student a large part of my life. Your purpose and worth are not things that can simply be measured by a title. Your titles are not all that you’re as a human—you’re so much more. I think it’s the most unhealthy thing that you can do because once you start to associate yourself entirely with something that can change in an instant by outside forces (ex. losing your job of a long time), you’re left feeling empty and lost.

When going into the office was an actual thing (throwback lol), it was easy to get lost in a mundane routine. Between commuting, having very busy days, juggling different projects at once with a ton of meetings, and feeling too tired to do anything else except go to bed, it was all so exhausting, but I’d do anything to experience that kind of exhaustion again. I’m not even kidding, I would give absolutely anything to be annoyed with my commute every day. When life was somewhat normal, I was trying to establish a healthy work-life balance. I started implementing some things to make my daily routine better, such as listening to podcasts, reading more, taking breaks and walks more often, stretching and moving my body more, and dedicating alone time for myself to unwind and recharge. I think now, more than ever, there needs to be some sort of balance in our daily routines since now our homes have become our place of sleep, play, and work. Mentally detaching yourself from work, even when you're physically not in the office, is so so difficult. I would recommend this TED Talk and reading this article by Frank Bach, to learn how you can be a more mindful designer and human.

A few of the lessons that I’ve learned during these past couple of years:

The importance of being a continuous learner.
Strive to constantly be a sponge and learn from all your experiences. Also, be kind and pass that knowledge onto others when given the opportunity to do so. It’s important to admit to yourself that you don't know everything in order to open yourself up to learning and growing. You’re not expected to know everything, so don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t know how to do something or if you don’t understand something. There are people who will always be willing to help you (friends, coworkers, teachers, mentors). Learn to not take criticism as a personal attack, but instead, view it as a learning opportunity and as a means to grow. I’ve learned that there is no one—not even the most well-known or famous designer that you admire—who would be uninterested or unwilling to help and teach you. You just need to be willing to open yourself up to receiving help. Remaining receptive to learning is the key to growing.

Be selective about where you want to work.
Most designers entering the industry are eager to jump at the first opportunity that comes their way, as a means to get their foot in the door. There is nothing wrong with being eager, but it’s important to do your due diligence and properly research companies, their values, and the people who work there. This will help you to be more informed, and it will cause you to apply to jobs at places that share your values and that you admire.

It’s important for your employer to care about you, your well-being, and personal growth.
Don’t just look at what skills and knowledge you can offer to a company when accepting a job, but also consider the ways in which they are able to improve your life and personal growth. This can be through mentorship, a budget for continuing learning courses, flexible hours, remote working options, or healthcare benefits. As a junior designer, I’ve experienced intimidation and discouragement from supervisors and managers based on my performance, character, and work. It’s important to be open-minded and receptive to feedback in order to recognize where growth and improvement are possible, but, on the flip side, it’s important to stand your ground and truly recognize when a work environment is just toxic. Actions always speak louder than words, and realizing when a company isn’t bettering your well-being anymore is a clear sign that it’s time to move on.

Don’t get caught up in all the glamour of trying to work at the big name companies.
It’s great to have aspirations and to one daydream of working for the prestigious design firms, but don’t obsess and make that your only end goal as a designer. There are so many small studios and companies who aren’t as well-known who are producing amazing work that could be a great fit for you. Do your research, know your options, and don’t limit yourself.

Portfolios are even more important after school ends.
Make the time to constantly improve your portfolio, especially when you have a job. When the time comes for you to move on, you won’t have to worry about scrambling to gather your portfolio together when an unexpected opportunity arises. Remember to only put in work that you’re most proud of and that reflects the kind of work that you want to do, and that quality is always better than quantity. Tobias van Schneider wrote a great article on the importance of keeping your portfolio constantly up-to-date, which encouraged me to work on my own. 

Everyone’s path is different.
Although it’s easier said than done, you should try not to judge your current state against someone else’s current or end states. It isn’t fair to you, and only provides you with discouragement. Remember to focus on your path and nurturing your craft, and know that things will always come in time. Show up, take risks, have passion, be driven, and be open to all opportunities that come your way in life.

Know your worth.
Don’t ever sell yourself short. Be sure to know what skills you’re able to offer to someone, and be confident in yourself and your work. There will be people who will try to take advantage of you in life, so it’s important to know what you’re looking for in terms of work and your work environment and choose what is best for you. I still struggle with my own confidence as a designer, but I think that I have become more confident with each opportunity that I have gotten. Remember to never compromise your values and self-worth. 

Be kind to yourself.
This one is very self-explanatory, but, in my opinion, is the most difficult one to implement. We give our friends and family so much forgiveness, love, and care, but fail to give that to ourselves because for some odd reason, we feel undeserving of it. It’s important to recognize that your feelings and emotions are valid and to truly sit with all of them, despite how uncomfortable they are. I often dismiss how I’m feeling because people have it worse, and yes, while that is true and will always be true, it’s important to not use that as a reason to minimize what you’re going through or feeling. Give yourself more credit for how far you’ve come, the progress you’ve made, and your small wins. It’s possible to celebrate little wins and be proud of yourself, while also recognizing all of the work and progress that you still need to make in life. 

As I’m becoming older, I’m realizing the importance that my attitude and outlook have on my quality of life. I’ve learned that I’m not always able to control things that happen, but I’m able to control how I respond to them. As someone who struggles to let go of control, it’s been difficult for me to accept this, as I have a habit of hyperfocusing on the what-ifs and all of the things that are not even close to being in my control. When things happen in our life, whether it be a positive or negative change or experience, a shift in perspective is required in order for us to fully appreciate it and move forward. Instead of wishing and yearning for the comfort of the past, I’m instead trying to use the past as learning experiences, in order to welcome change and growth into my present life.

Although I’m only 23, I go through times where I feel like I need to have my whole life figured out within the next two years. It’s this weird feeling, and I’m worried that I’m going to burn out, lose my competitive edge and my creativity, and my skills are just going to suddenly vanish from my body overnight. I still have so much to learn and achieve in my life which excites me, but also overwhelms me. It might sound stupid, but I fear that I’m not going to be able to accomplish all of my dreams in my lifetime. There are many things to look forward to, and so many things that I want to experience, which makes me feel very hopeful. I think the key is to define success on your own terms and to constantly explore what brings you true happiness in life.

If you made it this far, you truly deserve an award because this was a long read, but I’m truly thankful that you stuck around. Recently, I’ve been trying to take each day as it comes and start celebrating little wins, and I think you should as well.

Until next time,
Olivia

This post-grad journal-esque article has been a work in progress for over a year. I actually started writing this in November 2019, and since then so much has changed, causing me to constantly revisit it, make edits, rewrite entire sections, and never be fully satisfied with it (a feeling I’m very very familiar with lol). However, I think the main reason why it took me so long to launch this was because I’m not confident in my writing abilities. I struggled a lot with writing it in a way that felt authentic to my personality, as well as constantly trying to condense it to hold people’s interest. But more importantly, I held off on publishing it because I genuinely thought that no one would be interested in my experience and what I have to say. Even though this was a challenge to write and collect all of my thoughts, it was something that I was always excited to work on every time I sat down to write. It’s a project that made me happy and was therapeutic in a sense. Throughout this past year, I’ve been trying to be more intentional with regards to my actions, feelings, emotions, and what I put out into the world. I have been working to step out of my comfort zone while also staying true to myself and putting things out into the universe with which I’m truly passionate and happy about. Not everyone who reads this article will be able to relate, and I’m okay with that, but I hope that at least someone will resonate with it.

I know times are very strange at the moment, and I debated for a while whether it was an appropriate time to post this article. Numerous things that used to be constants in my life that are not anymore, causing me to feel uncertain, lost, anxious, and confused as to how to adapt, which I’m sure is a very familiar feeling for many right now. I’ve learned so much about myself, the graphic design industry, and life in general in the past two and a half years. I’m hoping that this can not only serve as a comforting read and a resource for others, but also a means for me to document my own personal growth and reflection. 

For those who know me, I’m very much a creature of habit, gravitating towards structure and consistency. I struggle to accept change and spontaneity when it comes my way and overthink in mostly all aspects of my life. I find joy in planning ahead, seeking comfort in the known, being in control, and bracing for the worst possible scenario. I feel like I’ve been like this since I was young, but I’m realizing now that these aspects are having a more limiting impact on me as an adult. Being a student was a large part of my identity, and now that I haven't been one for a while, I've been struggling to find a sense of structure and identity elsewhere which has had a great impact on my mental health — more than I thought it could.

2019 started off a bit rough, as I was trying to heal from my breakup with someone I was with for almost two years. It was an emotional time, and as a way to cope, I internalized a lot of my emotions and feelings, but they eventually began to manifest themselves in negative ways throughout my daily life. At the time, I might not have seen the correlation between my mental health and the breakup, but in retrospect, the correlation was very big. I’m shocked that it had such a profound impact on me in all ways—physically, mentally, and emotionally. The breakup, combined with the immense feelings of unhappiness at my job at the time, made me a bundle of anxiety. I felt more lethargic and less inclined to do things I once enjoyed—such as exercising and going out with friends—but I just brushed all of that off at the time. I started to feel less like myself, as the anxiety progressed, and felt as if it was starting to control my life. I felt scared whenever I had to leave my house. I had panic attacks on public transit, in busy places, and in public. I cried at work. I was just generally more overwhelmed, moody, emotional, unhappy, and unmotivated. I didn’t fully understand what was happening to me. I felt defeated because I didn’t feel like myself and just wanted to feel “normal” again, whatever normal is supposed to feel like nowadays. I repressed a lot of my feelings, tried to push them away, and convinced myself that I could work through them on my own. To a certain extent, I did, but also recognized that I needed some sort of unbiased and external help. Near the end of that year, I decided to start online therapy as a means to help cope with these newfound feelings, emotions, and thought patterns. Although I struggle to open up and be vulnerable, it’s really helped me understand myself better, my thought patterns, where my thoughts stem from, and how to slowly change them. My therapist keeps me hopeful. He reminds me that I’m capable of any change I want and that I’m deserving of good in life, and helps me to shift my mindset to work with my anxiety instead of against it.

My college experience was beyond enjoyable. I made life-long friends, learned more about myself, and felt like I was growing into myself . I immersed myself in my projects, learned about my capabilities, and saw myself grow as both a human and a designer. The sharing of knowledge and skills amongst my colleagues was the most valuable aspect of my college experience. We became so invested in each other's personal growth and careers, and truly wanted to see each other succeed just as much as we wanted to see ourselves succeed. We sorted out problems together, learned together, inspired each other, cheered each other on, and passed along internship and job opportunities to each other (and continue to do so). They’re some of the most passionate and amazing people I’ve ever met, and I’m so thankful to have them in my life. For my college credit, I was required to complete a three-week internship in order to graduate. I thought the internship was just going to be that: simply three weeks, over and done with. Looking back on it now, I realize the substantial impact my internship had not only on my career but also on myself. My internship allowed me to make connections in the industry, which taught me the importance of community and culture, and how surrounding yourself with creative and passionate people allows you to be your best self. It also taught me the importance of finding a place that makes you eager to learn and work, caring about the work you create, and doing projects that align with your own values. I’m thankful for the experience, as it has allowed me to establish non-negotiable and core values, and in turn, find job opportunities that reflect these values.

After working in the industry for almost two years now, I’m starting to find those individuals that I gravitate towards, connect with, and admire. While it’s exciting to enter the design industry as a fresh graduate, it’s even more intimidating to step foot into a workplace for the first time and try to create a space for yourself so that you can thrive. It can be discouraging when you don’t feel like a good fit somewhere or are not appreciated and valued. Most first jobs are like this, and it’s important to remember that your first job isn’t your forever job—although it can be difficult to realize this in the moment. Any experience, good or bad, is a learning experience that helps you grow. One thing I wish someone told me when I was starting in the industry is this: it may not happen at first, but you’ll eventually find people on the same wavelength as you, who make great collaborators, inspire you, want to help you be a better human, and have the same passion and drive to create the same kind of work that you do.

Despite feeling absolutely exhausted with the news and current events this year, my screen time has been absolutely horrendous. From doomscrolling to seeing people on Instagram pretending like the pandemic doesn't exist, it’s been exhausting to care and keep up with, yet I couldn’t distance myself from it all, especially during the early months. As the months passed, I’ve become better with regards to setting social media boundaries and rethinking its importance in my life. While social media has its advantages, especially for creatives like myself, it’s also been a constant contributor to my negative habits and emotions. I frequently do social media cleanses, which allow me to re-evaluate who I follow, to see if their content makes me feel happy and inspired, or just worse about myself. There is nothing wrong with unfollowing people who don’t bring you these things, even if they are people that you know in real life. Muting, blocking, or unfollowing people are things that should be done to better your own mental health, and I think establishing those boundaries are important for your own happiness. Curate your social media in a way that is conducive to you, your goals, and the life you want to live. 

Although I love seeing new work from people all over the world and getting involved in the graphic design community, it’s hard not to compare my creativity to others, especially this year. Shifting to working from home has definitely caused me to feel more uninspired, exhausted, and unmotivated. I have often felt frustrated, disappointed, and angry, and I have felt like I’m not doing enough, making enough, or simply not being a productive human. I have constantly seen people being creative and immersing themselves in their work, discovering new hobbies and interests, and improving their skills during the free time that was communally given to us, which has left me feeling less than, as I did not do the same. I’m not going to lie, thinking that I wasted a year not improving my career is a disappointing feeling. However, I used this year to focus on myself and my needs instead. I slept a lot, thoroughly immersed myself in all reality tv shows, read and exercised more, connected with those important to me and strengthened those relationships, connected with new people, and also reconnected with others that I haven’t spoken to in years. While I didn’t necessarily progress in my career, this year caused me to shift my perspective and reevaluate my priorities. I made lots of progress in my personal life by discovering things that calm me down and make me less anxious, and it made me realize that I was putting off a lot of things that truly made me happy when I was “busy” working and commuting. I really appreciated being able to slow down, reflect, and take this new perspective with me moving forward. I realized that everyone has been coping differently during this time, and whatever that looked like for you, it’s valid and okay.

A big thing I’ve been struggling with is the idea that my worth and identity as a human isn’t based on my productivity levels, how much I share my work on social media, or how many likes or followers I have. It’s okay to create things just for yourself—to just simply be happy and create what you want without the pressure of worrying if other people will like it. It’s okay to create when you feel ready, not when society dictates when you should. I’ve tried to be more intentional with the content that I have been posting on social media recently. I don’t want to just create things for the sake of people seeing and acknowledging it—that validation is temporary and can do more harm than good. I want to create with intention, to do things that make me happy, and then decide if I would like to put it into the universe for others to also appreciate. It’s hard to not associate your worth with your productivity levels, as normally there is a monetary value being placed on your creativity and ability to solve problems. I started to make my career my identity, similar to how I made being a student a large part of my life. Your purpose and worth are not things that can simply be measured by a title. Your titles are not all that you’re as a human—you’re so much more. I think it’s the most unhealthy thing that you can do because once you start to associate yourself entirely with something that can change in an instant by outside forces (ex. losing your job of a long time), you’re left feeling empty and lost.

When going into the office was an actual thing (throwback lol), it was easy to get lost in a mundane routine. Between commuting, having very busy days, juggling different projects at once with a ton of meetings, and feeling too tired to do anything else except go to bed, it was all so exhausting, but I’d do anything to experience that kind of exhaustion again. I’m not even kidding, I would give absolutely anything to be annoyed with my commute every day. When life was somewhat normal, I was trying to establish a healthy work-life balance. I started implementing some things to make my daily routine better, such as listening to podcasts, reading more, taking breaks and walks more often, stretching and moving my body more, and dedicating alone time for myself to unwind and recharge. I think now, more than ever, there needs to be some sort of balance in our daily routines since now our homes have become our place of sleep, play, and work. Mentally detaching yourself from work, even when you're physically not in the office, is so so difficult. I would recommend this TED Talk and reading this article by Frank Bach, to learn how you can be a more mindful designer and human.

A few of the lessons that I’ve learned during these past couple of years:

The importance of being a continuous learner.
Strive to constantly be a sponge and learn from all your experiences. Also, be kind and pass that knowledge onto others when given the opportunity to do so. It’s important to admit to yourself that you don't know everything in order to open yourself up to learning and growing. You’re not expected to know everything, so don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t know how to do something or if you don’t understand something. There are people who will always be willing to help you (friends, coworkers, teachers, mentors). Learn to not take criticism as a personal attack, but instead, view it as a learning opportunity and as a means to grow. I’ve learned that there is no one—not even the most well-known or famous designer that you admire—who would be uninterested or unwilling to help and teach you. You just need to be willing to open yourself up to receiving help. Remaining receptive to learning is the key to growing.

Be selective about where you want to work.
Most designers entering the industry are eager to jump at the first opportunity that comes their way, as a means to get their foot in the door. There is nothing wrong with being eager, but it’s important to do your due diligence and properly research companies, their values, and the people who work there. This will help you to be more informed, and it will cause you to apply to jobs at places that share your values and that you admire.

It’s important for your employer to care about you, your well-being, and personal growth.
Don’t just look at what skills and knowledge you can offer to a company when accepting a job, but also consider the ways in which they are able to improve your life and personal growth. This can be through mentorship, a budget for continuing learning courses, flexible hours, remote working options, or healthcare benefits. As a junior designer, I’ve experienced intimidation and discouragement from supervisors and managers based on my performance, character, and work. It’s important to be open-minded and receptive to feedback in order to recognize where growth and improvement are possible, but, on the flip side, it’s important to stand your ground and truly recognize when a work environment is just toxic. Actions always speak louder than words, and realizing when a company isn’t bettering your well-being anymore is a clear sign that it’s time to move on.

Don’t get caught up in all the glamour of trying to work at the big name companies.
It’s great to have aspirations and to one daydream of working for the prestigious design firms, but don’t obsess and make that your only end goal as a designer. There are so many small studios and companies who aren’t as well-known who are producing amazing work that could be a great fit for you. Do your research, know your options, and don’t limit yourself.

Portfolios are even more important after school ends.
Make the time to constantly improve your portfolio, especially when you have a job. When the time comes for you to move on, you won’t have to worry about scrambling to gather your portfolio together when an unexpected opportunity arises. Remember to only put in work that you’re most proud of and that reflects the kind of work that you want to do, and that quality is always better than quantity. Tobias van Schneider wrote a great article on the importance of keeping your portfolio constantly up-to-date, which encouraged me to work on my own. 

Everyone’s path is different.
Although it’s easier said than done, you should try not to judge your current state against someone else’s current or end states. It isn’t fair to you, and only provides you with discouragement. Remember to focus on your path and nurturing your craft, and know that things will always come in time. Show up, take risks, have passion, be driven, and be open to all opportunities that come your way in life.

Know your worth.
Don’t ever sell yourself short. Be sure to know what skills you’re able to offer to someone, and be confident in yourself and your work. There will be people who will try to take advantage of you in life, so it’s important to know what you’re looking for in terms of work and your work environment and choose what is best for you. I still struggle with my own confidence as a designer, but I think that I have become more confident with each opportunity that I have gotten. Remember to never compromise your values and self-worth. 

Be kind to yourself.
This one is very self-explanatory, but, in my opinion, is the most difficult one to implement. We give our friends and family so much forgiveness, love, and care, but fail to give that to ourselves because for some odd reason, we feel undeserving of it. It’s important to recognize that your feelings and emotions are valid and to truly sit with all of them, despite how uncomfortable they are. I often dismiss how I’m feeling because people have it worse, and yes, while that is true and will always be true, it’s important to not use that as a reason to minimize what you’re going through or feeling. Give yourself more credit for how far you’ve come, the progress you’ve made, and your small wins. It’s possible to celebrate little wins and be proud of yourself, while also recognizing all of the work and progress that you still need to make in life. 

As I’m becoming older, I’m realizing the importance that my attitude and outlook have on my quality of life. I’ve learned that I’m not always able to control things that happen, but I’m able to control how I respond to them. As someone who struggles to let go of control, it’s been difficult for me to accept this, as I have a habit of hyperfocusing on the what-ifs and all of the things that are not even close to being in my control. When things happen in our life, whether it be a positive or negative change or experience, a shift in perspective is required in order for us to fully appreciate it and move forward. Instead of wishing and yearning for the comfort of the past, I’m instead trying to use the past as learning experiences, in order to welcome change and growth into my present life.

Although I’m only 23, I go through times where I feel like I need to have my whole life figured out within the next two years. It’s this weird feeling, and I’m worried that I’m going to burn out, lose my competitive edge and my creativity, and my skills are just going to suddenly vanish from my body overnight. I still have so much to learn and achieve in my life which excites me, but also overwhelms me. It might sound stupid, but I fear that I’m not going to be able to accomplish all of my dreams in my lifetime. There are many things to look forward to, and so many things that I want to experience, which makes me feel very hopeful. I think the key is to define success on your own terms and to constantly explore what brings you true happiness in life.

If you made it this far, you truly deserve an award because this was a long read, but I’m truly thankful that you stuck around. Recently, I’ve been trying to take each day as it comes and start celebrating little wins, and I think you should as well.

Until next time,
Olivia

This post-grad journal-esque article has been a work in progress for over a year. I actually started writing this in November 2019, and since then so much has changed, causing me to constantly revisit it, make edits, rewrite entire sections, and never be fully satisfied with it (a feeling I’m very very familiar with lol). However, I think the main reason why it took me so long to launch this was because I’m not confident in my writing abilities. I struggled a lot with writing it in a way that felt authentic to my personality, as well as constantly trying to condense it to hold people’s interest. But more importantly, I held off on publishing it because I genuinely thought that no one would be interested in my experience and what I have to say. Even though this was a challenge to write and collect all of my thoughts, it was something that I was always excited to work on every time I sat down to write. It’s a project that made me happy and was therapeutic in a sense. Throughout this past year, I’ve been trying to be more intentional with regards to my actions, feelings, emotions, and what I put out into the world. I have been working to step out of my comfort zone while also staying true to myself and putting things out into the universe with which I’m truly passionate and happy about. Not everyone who reads this article will be able to relate, and I’m okay with that, but I hope that at least someone will resonate with it.

I know times are very strange at the moment, and I debated for a while whether it was an appropriate time to post this article. Numerous things that used to be constants in my life that are not anymore, causing me to feel uncertain, lost, anxious, and confused as to how to adapt, which I’m sure is a very familiar feeling for many right now. I’ve learned so much about myself, the graphic design industry, and life in general in the past two and a half years. I’m hoping that this can not only serve as a comforting read and a resource for others, but also a means for me to document my own personal growth and reflection. 

For those who know me, I’m very much a creature of habit, gravitating towards structure and consistency. I struggle to accept change and spontaneity when it comes my way and overthink in mostly all aspects of my life. I find joy in planning ahead, seeking comfort in the known, being in control, and bracing for the worst possible scenario. I feel like I’ve been like this since I was young, but I’m realizing now that these aspects are having a more limiting impact on me as an adult. Being a student was a large part of my identity, and now that I haven't been one for a while, I've been struggling to find a sense of structure and identity elsewhere which has had a great impact on my mental health — more than I thought it could.

2019 started off a bit rough, as I was trying to heal from my breakup with someone I was with for almost two years. It was an emotional time, and as a way to cope, I internalized a lot of my emotions and feelings, but they eventually began to manifest themselves in negative ways throughout my daily life. At the time, I might not have seen the correlation between my mental health and the breakup, but in retrospect, the correlation was very big. I’m shocked that it had such a profound impact on me in all ways—physically, mentally, and emotionally. The breakup, combined with the immense feelings of unhappiness at my job at the time, made me a bundle of anxiety. I felt more lethargic and less inclined to do things I once enjoyed—such as exercising and going out with friends—but I just brushed all of that off at the time. I started to feel less like myself, as the anxiety progressed, and felt as if it was starting to control my life. I felt scared whenever I had to leave my house. I had panic attacks on public transit, in busy places, and in public. I cried at work. I was just generally more overwhelmed, moody, emotional, unhappy, and unmotivated. I didn’t fully understand what was happening to me. I felt defeated because I didn’t feel like myself and just wanted to feel “normal” again, whatever normal is supposed to feel like nowadays. I repressed a lot of my feelings, tried to push them away, and convinced myself that I could work through them on my own. To a certain extent, I did, but also recognized that I needed some sort of unbiased and external help. Near the end of that year, I decided to start online therapy as a means to help cope with these newfound feelings, emotions, and thought patterns. Although I struggle to open up and be vulnerable, it’s really helped me understand myself better, my thought patterns, where my thoughts stem from, and how to slowly change them. My therapist keeps me hopeful. He reminds me that I’m capable of any change I want and that I’m deserving of good in life, and helps me to shift my mindset to work with my anxiety instead of against it.

My college experience was beyond enjoyable. I made life-long friends, learned more about myself, and felt like I was growing into myself . I immersed myself in my projects, learned about my capabilities, and saw myself grow as both a human and a designer. The sharing of knowledge and skills amongst my colleagues was the most valuable aspect of my college experience. We became so invested in each other's personal growth and careers, and truly wanted to see each other succeed just as much as we wanted to see ourselves succeed. We sorted out problems together, learned together, inspired each other, cheered each other on, and passed along internship and job opportunities to each other (and continue to do so). They’re some of the most passionate and amazing people I’ve ever met, and I’m so thankful to have them in my life. For my college credit, I was required to complete a three-week internship in order to graduate. I thought the internship was just going to be that: simply three weeks, over and done with. Looking back on it now, I realize the substantial impact my internship had not only on my career but also on myself. My internship allowed me to make connections in the industry, which taught me the importance of community and culture, and how surrounding yourself with creative and passionate people allows you to be your best self. It also taught me the importance of finding a place that makes you eager to learn and work, caring about the work you create, and doing projects that align with your own values. I’m thankful for the experience, as it has allowed me to establish non-negotiable and core values, and in turn, find job opportunities that reflect these values.

After working in the industry for almost two years now, I’m starting to find those individuals that I gravitate towards, connect with, and admire. While it’s exciting to enter the design industry as a fresh graduate, it’s even more intimidating to step foot into a workplace for the first time and try to create a space for yourself so that you can thrive. It can be discouraging when you don’t feel like a good fit somewhere or are not appreciated and valued. Most first jobs are like this, and it’s important to remember that your first job isn’t your forever job—although it can be difficult to realize this in the moment. Any experience, good or bad, is a learning experience that helps you grow. One thing I wish someone told me when I was starting in the industry is this: it may not happen at first, but you’ll eventually find people on the same wavelength as you, who make great collaborators, inspire you, want to help you be a better human, and have the same passion and drive to create the same kind of work that you do.

Despite feeling absolutely exhausted with the news and current events this year, my screen time has been absolutely horrendous. From doomscrolling to seeing people on Instagram pretending like the pandemic doesn't exist, it’s been exhausting to care and keep up with, yet I couldn’t distance myself from it all, especially during the early months. As the months passed, I’ve become better with regards to setting social media boundaries and rethinking its importance in my life. While social media has its advantages, especially for creatives like myself, it’s also been a constant contributor to my negative habits and emotions. I frequently do social media cleanses, which allow me to re-evaluate who I follow, to see if their content makes me feel happy and inspired, or just worse about myself. There is nothing wrong with unfollowing people who don’t bring you these things, even if they are people that you know in real life. Muting, blocking, or unfollowing people are things that should be done to better your own mental health, and I think establishing those boundaries are important for your own happiness. Curate your social media in a way that is conducive to you, your goals, and the life you want to live. 

Although I love seeing new work from people all over the world and getting involved in the graphic design community, it’s hard not to compare my creativity to others, especially this year. Shifting to working from home has definitely caused me to feel more uninspired, exhausted, and unmotivated. I have often felt frustrated, disappointed, and angry, and I have felt like I’m not doing enough, making enough, or simply not being a productive human. I have constantly seen people being creative and immersing themselves in their work, discovering new hobbies and interests, and improving their skills during the free time that was communally given to us, which has left me feeling less than, as I did not do the same. I’m not going to lie, thinking that I wasted a year not improving my career is a disappointing feeling. However, I used this year to focus on myself and my needs instead. I slept a lot, thoroughly immersed myself in all reality tv shows, read and exercised more, connected with those important to me and strengthened those relationships, connected with new people, and also reconnected with others that I haven’t spoken to in years. While I didn’t necessarily progress in my career, this year caused me to shift my perspective and reevaluate my priorities. I made lots of progress in my personal life by discovering things that calm me down and make me less anxious, and it made me realize that I was putting off a lot of things that truly made me happy when I was “busy” working and commuting. I really appreciated being able to slow down, reflect, and take this new perspective with me moving forward. I realized that everyone has been coping differently during this time, and whatever that looked like for you, it’s valid and okay.

A big thing I’ve been struggling with is the idea that my worth and identity as a human isn’t based on my productivity levels, how much I share my work on social media, or how many likes or followers I have. It’s okay to create things just for yourself—to just simply be happy and create what you want without the pressure of worrying if other people will like it. It’s okay to create when you feel ready, not when society dictates when you should. I’ve tried to be more intentional with the content that I have been posting on social media recently. I don’t want to just create things for the sake of people seeing and acknowledging it—that validation is temporary and can do more harm than good. I want to create with intention, to do things that make me happy, and then decide if I would like to put it into the universe for others to also appreciate. It’s hard to not associate your worth with your productivity levels, as normally there is a monetary value being placed on your creativity and ability to solve problems. I started to make my career my identity, similar to how I made being a student a large part of my life. Your purpose and worth are not things that can simply be measured by a title. Your titles are not all that you’re as a human—you’re so much more. I think it’s the most unhealthy thing that you can do because once you start to associate yourself entirely with something that can change in an instant by outside forces (ex. losing your job of a long time), you’re left feeling empty and lost.

When going into the office was an actual thing (throwback lol), it was easy to get lost in a mundane routine. Between commuting, having very busy days, juggling different projects at once with a ton of meetings, and feeling too tired to do anything else except go to bed, it was all so exhausting, but I’d do anything to experience that kind of exhaustion again. I’m not even kidding, I would give absolutely anything to be annoyed with my commute every day. When life was somewhat normal, I was trying to establish a healthy work-life balance. I started implementing some things to make my daily routine better, such as listening to podcasts, reading more, taking breaks and walks more often, stretching and moving my body more, and dedicating alone time for myself to unwind and recharge. I think now, more than ever, there needs to be some sort of balance in our daily routines since now our homes have become our place of sleep, play, and work. Mentally detaching yourself from work, even when you're physically not in the office, is so so difficult. I would recommend this TED Talk and reading this article by Frank Bach, to learn how you can be a more mindful designer and human.

A few of the lessons that I’ve learned during these past couple of years:

The importance of being a continuous learner.
Strive to constantly be a sponge and learn from all your experiences. Also, be kind and pass that knowledge onto others when given the opportunity to do so. It’s important to admit to yourself that you don't know everything in order to open yourself up to learning and growing. You’re not expected to know everything, so don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t know how to do something or if you don’t understand something. There are people who will always be willing to help you (friends, coworkers, teachers, mentors). Learn to not take criticism as a personal attack, but instead, view it as a learning opportunity and as a means to grow. I’ve learned that there is no one—not even the most well-known or famous designer that you admire—who would be uninterested or unwilling to help and teach you. You just need to be willing to open yourself up to receiving help. Remaining receptive to learning is the key to growing.

Be selective about where you want to work.
Most designers entering the industry are eager to jump at the first opportunity that comes their way, as a means to get their foot in the door. There is nothing wrong with being eager, but it’s important to do your due diligence and properly research companies, their values, and the people who work there. This will help you to be more informed, and it will cause you to apply to jobs at places that share your values and that you admire.

It’s important for your employer to care about you, your well-being, and personal growth.
Don’t just look at what skills and knowledge you can offer to a company when accepting a job, but also consider the ways in which they are able to improve your life and personal growth. This can be through mentorship, a budget for continuing learning courses, flexible hours, remote working options, or healthcare benefits. As a junior designer, I’ve experienced intimidation and discouragement from supervisors and managers based on my performance, character, and work. It’s important to be open-minded and receptive to feedback in order to recognize where growth and improvement are possible, but, on the flip side, it’s important to stand your ground and truly recognize when a work environment is just toxic. Actions always speak louder than words, and realizing when a company isn’t bettering your well-being anymore is a clear sign that it’s time to move on.

Don’t get caught up in all the glamour of trying to work at the big name companies.
It’s great to have aspirations and to one daydream of working for the prestigious design firms, but don’t obsess and make that your only end goal as a designer. There are so many small studios and companies who aren’t as well-known who are producing amazing work that could be a great fit for you. Do your research, know your options, and don’t limit yourself.

Portfolios are even more important after school ends.
Make the time to constantly improve your portfolio, especially when you have a job. When the time comes for you to move on, you won’t have to worry about scrambling to gather your portfolio together when an unexpected opportunity arises. Remember to only put in work that you’re most proud of and that reflects the kind of work that you want to do, and that quality is always better than quantity. Tobias van Schneider wrote a great article on the importance of keeping your portfolio constantly up-to-date, which encouraged me to work on my own. 

Everyone’s path is different.
Although it’s easier said than done, you should try not to judge your current state against someone else’s current or end states. It isn’t fair to you, and only provides you with discouragement. Remember to focus on your path and nurturing your craft, and know that things will always come in time. Show up, take risks, have passion, be driven, and be open to all opportunities that come your way in life.

Know your worth.
Don’t ever sell yourself short. Be sure to know what skills you’re able to offer to someone, and be confident in yourself and your work. There will be people who will try to take advantage of you in life, so it’s important to know what you’re looking for in terms of work and your work environment and choose what is best for you. I still struggle with my own confidence as a designer, but I think that I have become more confident with each opportunity that I have gotten. Remember to never compromise your values and self-worth. 

Be kind to yourself.
This one is very self-explanatory, but, in my opinion, is the most difficult one to implement. We give our friends and family so much forgiveness, love, and care, but fail to give that to ourselves because for some odd reason, we feel undeserving of it. It’s important to recognize that your feelings and emotions are valid and to truly sit with all of them, despite how uncomfortable they are. I often dismiss how I’m feeling because people have it worse, and yes, while that is true and will always be true, it’s important to not use that as a reason to minimize what you’re going through or feeling. Give yourself more credit for how far you’ve come, the progress you’ve made, and your small wins. It’s possible to celebrate little wins and be proud of yourself, while also recognizing all of the work and progress that you still need to make in life. 

As I’m becoming older, I’m realizing the importance that my attitude and outlook have on my quality of life. I’ve learned that I’m not always able to control things that happen, but I’m able to control how I respond to them. As someone who struggles to let go of control, it’s been difficult for me to accept this, as I have a habit of hyperfocusing on the what-ifs and all of the things that are not even close to being in my control. When things happen in our life, whether it be a positive or negative change or experience, a shift in perspective is required in order for us to fully appreciate it and move forward. Instead of wishing and yearning for the comfort of the past, I’m instead trying to use the past as learning experiences, in order to welcome change and growth into my present life.

Although I’m only 23, I go through times where I feel like I need to have my whole life figured out within the next two years. It’s this weird feeling, and I’m worried that I’m going to burn out, lose my competitive edge and my creativity, and my skills are just going to suddenly vanish from my body overnight. I still have so much to learn and achieve in my life which excites me, but also overwhelms me. It might sound stupid, but I fear that I’m not going to be able to accomplish all of my dreams in my lifetime. There are many things to look forward to, and so many things that I want to experience, which makes me feel very hopeful. I think the key is to define success on your own terms and to constantly explore what brings you true happiness in life.

If you made it this far, you truly deserve an award because this was a long read, but I’m truly thankful that you stuck around. Recently, I’ve been trying to take each day as it comes and start celebrating little wins, and I think you should as well.

Until next time,
Olivia